The Anti-Paleo Update (Day 4)

So, 4 days into wrecking my body for financial gain and I figured it was time for an update.For those of you just tuning in, I am currently fatting up in order to take a satisfactory “before” photo for a bodybuilding contest. Cash, prizes, and fame are on the line, so it is essential that we sandbag, lie, cheat and steal. Mrs. Caveman needs a vacation and the spoils of this contest will hopefully get us there.

So far this week, we have been successful at being “Anti-Paleo.” I wasn’t able to take pictures of the twice McDonalds greatness or the Carl’s Jr. wonderment simply because my caveman paws lunged for the food before proof could be attained.

One perk to the corporate office life is that there is no shortage of provided lunches. Yesterday, we were treated to delicious breakfast burritos from the bar next door.

Mmmmm….. Sleepy Time

Notice the shear disregard for human figures with the copious amounts of bacon, cheese, sour cream, oversized deliciously gluten filled tortilla, and did I mention bacon? Also, nothing hates waistlines more than delicious chips. The quinessential empty calorie. We all know that most renditions of prehistoric man are of him holding crisps and sitting on his ass.

Today, we ventured to the local hotdog eatery where their interpretation of “jumbo” was skewed but the spoils were still delicious.

So good, couldnt take a picture without biting it

Bread, bread, and fries. MMMMmmmmmm….. The Homer Simpson in all of us drools…..

I am pretty sure there was protein somewhere on that plate, and the greens serve no purpose other than to trick us into thinking we are being healthy.

I am hoping that my body will survive until Sunday. I can definitely tell that as the week progresses I get sleepier in the afternoons and my motivation is shrinking. Truly, this is why Cavemen invented tools, fire, and eventually farmed. It was so that we could all feel lethargic and sleepy in the afternoons and plunk down on our couches once the sun goes down and wait for television to get dull enough for us to cash in for the night. Our prehistoric forefathers would be proud…

Stay tuned to see if I even survive it to the weigh in.