COTM – Adam Richman

We are going to start a new column where I tip my club to someone in modern life, living the caveman dream. There are several ways you can really shine in this department:

1. Extreme Health Awesomeness

2. Physical Accomplishments

3. Lifestyle breakthrough

4. Lack of give a fuck (my favorite)

Adam Richman

COTM – Adam Richman

For those of you that don’t know, Adam Richman came into the spotlight with a show called Man vs. Food. He would essentially scour the universe for extreme eating contests. Let me tell you, Cavemen love nothing more than some good grub. I applaud his efforts and saw some impressive feats of human consumption. However, this left Adam looking like this:

“I’m just big boned”

That alone pretty much meant that he was a fat guy who ate a lot on TV. Not entirely caveman material. However, Adam took charge and lost the weight. 70 lbs! Good job Adam!

*golf clap*

That alone would ALMOST get him to caveman status. But here is where he earns my praise.

Being a bit of a celebrity and TV personality, Adam is required to maintain Facebook, twitter, and other social media presence. He put in the hard work and shared his progress with the world. Adam was so proud of his hard work and discipline that he shared it with the world. He even, gasp, used a hashtag #thinspiration.

Well, now we should all know that you can’t use #thinspiration. One more time, to help this come up on google searches #THINSPIRATION.

Now, I am no internet genius, or twitter master. I maintain a twitter account for the sole purpose of distributing these rantings to the universe, errr… webiverse, whatever. But apparently, you cannot be proud of being thin. No no. There was one particular angry internet troll named Adipose Activist that took it upon herself to “educate” my man Adam.

Whoa, I have heard the camera adds ten pounds. How many cameras were there?

#wheresthebeef

#moo

Now that is a bitch that could skip a meal or two.

Now, I need to qualify some things before I go any further.

1. Being fat is not genetic. Your genetics do not put pizza in your mouth and place your ass on the couch every night

2. If you struggle with weight issues, there is help out there. Please seek it out.

3. Being overweight is hard on your body. It shortens your life span and takes you away from your friends and family sooner.

4. “Big boned” does not exist. I have never seen a skeleton with a double chin.

5. I do not “hate” fat people. I do hate lazy people who make excuses.

6. I have struggled with weight issues my entire life, but believe in my ability to affect change in my own life.

7. Did I mention I hate excuses?

Okay, back to our Caveman of the Month, Adam.

Adipose trolls Adam’s twitter and “educates” him on the dangers of #thinspiration.

“thinspiration is very popular in pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia circles, generally consisting of pictures of emaciated bodies, mantras like ‘what’s more important, that slice of pizza or a thigh gap?’ and suggestions, tips, and motivation to either starve or purge. (Regardless of whether or not you agree with dieting, starving or purging are things that should never be encouraged.) Without context, thinspiration may not seem like a bad word, but a simple google search proves that it was created by a community of people with eating disorders to inspire each other to continue and celebrate their illnesses.”

Okay, I will bite. Let’s do a google image search and see what comes up. First three google images that pop up (since modern people don’t have the attention span beyond that)

I’m gonna be honest, I don’t believe these images are promoting bulimia or eating disorders. These look like the physiques of women who eat clean and exercise. I really like #3 as it shows someone who struggled with weight and overcame the challenges to improve their health. I think that is a very powerful and positive message. However, some people cannot see past their own insecurities and instead of putting in the work themselves, would rather bring other people down to their level on the couch. In none of these pictures do I see an “emaciated” body. I like how the above quote lumps dieting, starving, and purging in the same club.

This is where Adam starts to earn some serious cave cred. His response: “DILLIGAF?” Now, he loses points for doing the whole short text acronym thing, which I despise, but whatever. For those of you who may not know, and I had to look it up, that stands for:

DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK.

*cue applause* #thinspiration #DILLIGAF

So the fat ones rally and engage in a twitter barrage on poor Adam. I am sure his phone didn’t stop with the updates and his agent and publicist probably insisted that he respond. I’m sure he felt like he stepped in front of a firing squad at the Country Buffet. But he didn’t puss out.

*gasp #thinspiration #cword

#youshouldhavebeenablowjob

I have followed this in the blogging world recently, and most people criticize my man for his comments. The only thing he did wrong

Aside from that, I think he had some good comments in there. Maybe should NOT have used the c-word. People don’t like it, but I think it was merited. I mean, leave her lady bits out of this, she probably hasn’t seen them in a long time. I love this one:

“Grab a razor blade & draw a bath” hahaha #thinspiration #eatadick

Personally I would have told her to suck start a shotgun, but to each his own. Adam even throws it out there that no apology is coming. Bravo…..

Wait….

The power of the internet…..

The power of lazy fat people who are parked at their computer all day….

And his upcoming show is cancelled. Oops. #nevergofullretard

His apology:

“I want to apologize for my inexcusable remarks. My behavior was unbecoming and unacceptable. I’ve long struggled with my body image and have worked very hard to achieve a healthy weight,”

“Instead of responding to comments with compassion, I lashed out in anger,” he continued. “I’m not asking for sympathy, but rather understanding and forgiveness. I can say with certainty that I’m taking a deep look at myself and I’m incredibly sorry to everyone I’ve hurt.”

While he said he wouldn’t apologize, I get it. You have to keep the media machine happy. I am sure he was under incredible pressure to apologize. So while I think he should have stood his ground and continued to NOT GIVE A FUCK, I give him a pass. I have the luxury of a day job while I write this blog. His TV gig is his day job. So you have to continue to put food on the table and provide a roof over your head. I get it man.

Here is where I stand on the issue.

I think we live in a messed up world, where you aren’t allowed to be proud of your health and fitness accomplishments. He should have been commended for his progress.

I think it is sad that it is okay to be proud of being obese, but you can’t be proud of being fit.

You can take pictures of your fat ass eating three Big Macs because you think fat is beautiful, but yet you claim your obesity is “genetic.”

Everyone in the blogosphere is so afraid of offending people, that right when we get to the meat of topics, everyone retreats with apologies and PC comments.

Well, I don’t make a living from this page, so here we go.

To Adipose Activist –

You are fat.

It is not a good look.

You are the reason my plane tickets cost more.

If my man Adam needs to apologize for being thin, you need to apologize for being fat. ‘Tit for tat.’ Fit for Fat? I may be onto something here. #fitforfat

So, to Adam Richman, I tip my club to you this month and say Bravo. Keep doing it right. You go eat the largest hamburger in the US or the hottest Buffalo wings in the South. Just make sure you don’t miss a workout and eat clean the rest of the time. You sir, are an honorary Caveman.

And don’t fix your Give a Fuck, I like it broken.